# A difficult colleague does not need your rehearsed speech

Prepare a specific request instead of a case against someone’s character.

Source: https://www.drmahrukh.com/journal/difficult-colleague-conversation.html

Mintlife Health editorial. AI-assisted; approved for publication September 13, 2026.

You have rewritten the conversation in your head so many times that you could deliver both sides. In each version, the other person finally understands how unreasonable they have been. Real workplace conversations rarely follow that script. A useful preparation process focuses on the behavior affecting the work, its impact, and the request you can make. It also recognizes power differences. If the issue involves harassment, discrimination, threats, or retaliation, formal organizational support may be needed.

## Keep the request close to the work

An original preparation page has three lines: what I observed, why it matters, and what I am asking for. Remove guesses about intent unless the person has actually stated them. “The document changed after sign-off” is different from “You are trying to undermine me.” You can be direct without deciding someone’s inner motive. Think through the response you will make if they disagree. The goal is not a perfect speech; it is a conversation with a workable next step.

## A small experiment to try

1. Choose one specific incident rather than an accumulated character judgment.
2. Describe its impact on the task or team.
3. Make a request the other person can understand and answer.
4. Decide how an unresolved issue should be escalated appropriately.

Illustrative wording: “When the numbers change after approval, I have to redo the client summary. Can we agree on a cutoff and a clear way to flag revisions after it?”

## What to notice

Look for a clearer process, not an admission that you were right about everything. Keep factual notes if the issue continues.

What behavior needs to change for the work to become more manageable?

## Coaching support in Reston and the DMV

Executive and personal coaching can help turn a broad concern such as balance into a concrete conversation about priorities, workload, boundaries, and relationships. It is also a place to distinguish what you can change personally from what requires a manager, organization, or structural solution.

This guide is educational. If symptoms are persistent, severe, or disrupting daily functioning, seek an appropriate health professional. A workplace problem is not automatically a failure of your mindset.

Request a free 15-minute discovery call: https://www.drmahrukh.com/#connect

1920 Association Drive, Suite 509, Reston, VA 20191. +1-703-400-5314. info@mintlife.health.

## Sources

[NIMH: Caring for Your Mental Health](https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/caring-for-your-mental-health)